February 17th, 2015 SOMEWHERE WITH MUMMIES, EGYPT
It looks like the pyramid laden country of Egypt has made
its way back into the news this week after a terrible misunderstanding with the
PBS consortium ISIS. Monday morning was supposed to be a day of celebration and
an end to fighting between the two, equally middle-eastern factions, but
instead it ended in bloodshed when a gift basket turned air-to-ground missile
went horribly awry. Rather than the tokens of peace ISIL fighters (civilians)
were greeted with fully-functional missiles, with what seemed oddly like fatal
intent.
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| "The incense was a little strong..." --Mohammed Morsi, President of Pyramids |
“We were just trying to send some dried fruits, maybe a
chocolate or two, but the result was much worse.” Much worse indeed as it
appears Egypt fell short of its gift-basket goal by at least two ingredients.
Although the gift-basket was checked by several mechanics and trained officials
before it was loaded onto the plane, somewhere along the line it was tampered
with…
For the safety of the people, we thought it best to cover
exactly how accidents like this can happen, and how they can be avoided in the
future. Our senior mechanical engineer examined the oversights and shortcuts
that may have led to this tragedy. The diagram below details the slippery slope
that can turn your gift basket into a weapon.
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| It's amazing how quickly things can go wrong... |
Egypt and ISIL have agreed to go to Red Robin for peace
talks after the accidental strike, and negotiations will take place later this
week. One thing’s for sure, we’re going to be watching Egypt’s Christmas cards
more closely…
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| Is that pie just a bottle of arsenic? Wait a minute! |
--Dan Patterson, Mechanical Expert, Gift Basket Engineer,
& Explosives Novice
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