Monday, February 2, 2015

PETA Lashes out at Katy Perry About Half-Time Show Performance

"Fighting for animal rights humans don't even have."

In the wake of a disappointing Superbowl outcome the citizens of Washington have been re-directing their attention to the ‘real’ winner of the Superbowl. I’m speaking of course about Katy Perry. Many tuned into yesterday’s half-time show with the lackluster enthusiasm of a generation that has seen it all (looking at you Janet), but there wasn’t a dry eye in the house when Ms. Perry finished her soulful rendition of her hit single Animal Noises. However, there are some who are very displeased with the performance, and mostly they’re PETA.

Because being the Mockingjay just wasn't enough was it?
A spokesperson for PETA (People for Extreme Trivial Activism) said the following: “Not only did Katy Perry manage to abuse a well-loved species by removing it from its natural habitat…” Referring to the dancing sharks during Song that No Longer Contains Snoop Dogg. “…She also took an endangered species, oppressed it into servitude, and rode it for the crowd’s amusement. It is one of the biggest catastrophes in animal rights history, and frankly I’m appalled that the NFL has done nothing about it. Ms. Perry should face heavy fines if not jail-time for her actions.” While the representative may have seemed a bit uppity, they may have a point. At one point during the performance it is very clear that the sharks are under duress (likely due to the lack of water on the stage) and can be seen gasping for air.

Katy Perry strikes one of the sharks after it gasped on stage.
In addition, the Post-Annakin/Darth Vader treatment of the lion was gruesome. When asked to comment Roger Goodell had the following to say: “We want to wait to make a decision until all the information is available. The NFL is currently in possession of a tape that does indeed show Ms. Perry on a mechanical animal of some kind, but as of yet it is unclear on whether or not she knew that her prop was a living animal. It is possible that the animal may have been tampered with, without her knowledge.”

As always I think we can count on the NFL to make a swift and righteous decision in this matter. All in all, it was quite the show, and I think we can all agree that the Black Eyed Peas should crawl deeper into their shame hole.

--Mac Turbine, Animal Rights Activist, Equine and Feline Interpreter

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