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| "Fighting for animal rights humans don't even have." |
February 2, 2015 SEATTLE WASHINGTON
In the wake of a disappointing Superbowl outcome the
citizens of Washington have been re-directing their attention to the ‘real’
winner of the Superbowl. I’m speaking of course about Katy Perry. Many tuned
into yesterday’s half-time show with the lackluster enthusiasm of a generation that
has seen it all (looking at you Janet), but there wasn’t a dry eye in the house
when Ms. Perry finished her soulful rendition of her hit single Animal Noises. However, there are some
who are very displeased with the performance, and mostly they’re PETA.
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| Because being the Mockingjay just wasn't enough was it? |
A spokesperson for PETA (People for Extreme Trivial
Activism) said the following: “Not only did Katy Perry manage to abuse a
well-loved species by removing it from its natural habitat…” Referring to the
dancing sharks during Song that No Longer
Contains Snoop Dogg. “…She also took an endangered species, oppressed it
into servitude, and rode it for the crowd’s amusement. It is one of the biggest
catastrophes in animal rights history, and frankly I’m appalled that the NFL
has done nothing about it. Ms. Perry should face heavy fines if not jail-time
for her actions.” While the representative may have seemed a bit uppity, they
may have a point. At one point during the performance it is very clear that the
sharks are under duress (likely due to the lack of water on the stage) and can
be seen gasping for air.
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| Katy Perry strikes one of the sharks after it gasped on stage. |
In addition, the Post-Annakin/Darth Vader treatment of the
lion was gruesome. When asked to comment Roger Goodell had the following to
say: “We want to wait to make a decision until all the information is
available. The NFL is currently in possession of a tape that does indeed show
Ms. Perry on a mechanical animal of some kind, but as of yet it is unclear on
whether or not she knew that her prop was a living animal. It is possible that
the animal may have been tampered with, without her knowledge.”
As always I think we can count on the NFL to make a swift
and righteous decision in this matter. All in all, it was quite the show, and I
think we can all agree that the Black Eyed Peas should crawl deeper into their
shame hole.
--Mac Turbine, Animal Rights Activist, Equine and Feline
Interpreter
