Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Obama Moves Legislative Branch to Nearby Park

August 10th, 2015 WASHINGTON D.C.

The world’s focus over the past few days has been on the beautiful train wreck that is the Republican Party (hey, we all have to take cheap shots sometimes). With all of the spectacle, it’s almost hard to imagine that there is anything else worthy of note going on in the realm of politics (voting rights, pentagon hacks, Syrian Death Star; two out of the three are true), but a new corruption scandal is brewing in the White House. President Obama is nearing the end of his term and has decided to throw caution to the wind and make some extreme changes to the political system.

The biggest of these shifts is a restructuring of the legislative system. Rather than wiping away the filibustering and long nights of arguments with paid dinners, The President has opted for a more elegant solution. Both The Senate and Congress will be relocated from The Capitol Building to a large sandbox in a neighboring park. When asked for comment President Obama said, “If they’re going to act like children, they’re going to get treated like children.” The change went into effect this morning, and already Senator Mitch McConnell is complaining that the other political figures are picking on him, and that his lunch has been buried in sand.

There’s no way to tell if this radical solution will work, but it certainly can’t hinder the broken system. The President has assured the public that both Senators and Congressmen alike will receive juice boxes for each bipartisan bill they manage to get passed to his desk. “They already tried to pass a bill to remove them from the sandbox, but that’s what vetoes are for,” Obama said, chuckling at his press conference this afternoon.

What do you think of the radical change? Is it enough to stop the stagnation in our system? Connect with us on social media and share your thoughts!

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