Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Man Loses Battle with Tech Support


Sad news today as it appears that local Seattleite Randy Craig has lost the battle with tech support. Doctors arrived at the Craig residence this morning to find Randy dead, and still listening to the customer support hold music. The King County coroner’s office has ruled the death accidental, as no one at the customer support hotline actually knew that Randy was on hold.

The incident began when Randy called tech support after recently updating his computer. The call log shows that he went through 53 automated menus, and was transferred a total of 10 times, before he was put on hold for 3 days. “We can’t be sure what killed him in the end, but signs point to the holding music.” The music shifts every three minutes to give the customer the illusion that something is changing on the other end. Mr. Craig called from a cellular phone, which allowed him to be exposed to the music for the entire duration of the call (over 36 hours) “Hold music toxicity levels tend to peak around 3 hours. It’s a miracle he lasted as long as he did.”

Humorous image of our non-existent tech support team inserted to break up an otherwise dark article.  
 Doctors are urging the public to exercise safe tech support habits. You can find a promotional poster below that shows how to stay safe while waiting on hold.

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