August 10th, 2015 WASHINGTON D.C.
The world’s focus over the past few days has been on the
beautiful train wreck that is the Republican Party (hey, we all have to take
cheap shots sometimes). With all of the spectacle, it’s almost hard to imagine
that there is anything else worthy of note going on in the realm of politics
(voting rights, pentagon hacks, Syrian Death Star; two out of the three are
true), but a new corruption scandal is brewing in the White House. President
Obama is nearing the end of his term and has decided to throw caution to the
wind and make some extreme changes to the political system.
The biggest of these shifts is a restructuring of the
legislative system. Rather than wiping away the filibustering and long nights
of arguments with paid dinners, The President has opted for a more elegant solution.
Both The Senate and Congress will be relocated from The Capitol Building to a
large sandbox in a neighboring park. When asked for comment President Obama said,
“If they’re going to act like children, they’re going to get treated like
children.” The change went into effect this morning, and already Senator Mitch McConnell
is complaining that the other political figures are picking on him, and that his
lunch has been buried in sand.
There’s no way to tell if this radical solution will work, but
it certainly can’t hinder the broken system. The President has assured the
public that both Senators and Congressmen alike will receive juice boxes for
each bipartisan bill they manage to get passed to his desk. “They already tried
to pass a bill to remove them from the sandbox, but that’s what vetoes are for,”
Obama said, chuckling at his press conference this afternoon.
What do you think of the radical change? Is it enough to
stop the stagnation in our system? Connect with us on social media and share
your thoughts!
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