Seattle, city of rain, passive-aggressive homeless, and of
course, a massive volcano waiting to kill us all. For anyone who has not read
our article
on volcano awareness, allow me to give you a quick recap: When Mount Rainer
finally decides it’s had enough, we’re all done for. Luckily, the Seattle City
Council has opted to do something about it, because for obvious reasons,
volcanoes are the city’s number one concern.
Beginning fall 2016, Seattle will start providing research
grants for PhD students willing to study Psychiatric Volcanology. “It’s clear
now that our neighbor Mount Rainier is emotionally unstable, and the fact of
the matter is that our geologists can’t do anything about it. They can predict
when it might blow, and develop evacuation plans, but we need to stop this at
the source,” said Seattle mayor Ed Murray.
Psychiatric Volcanologists will focus on the emotional
states of past volcanoes, examining modern day case studies like the Bi-Polar
Kilauea, all the way to Manic Depressive Pompeii. Through examination of the
past, it is hoped that scientists will be able further identify risk factors
for the mountains in the Pacific North West, as well as treatment plans to help
keep them stable. University of Washington has already announced its support
for the plan, stating that they have begun immediate construction on a combined
geology and psychology department science center, slated to begin accepting
students next fall.
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| Still from the Pixar Documentary Lava(2015) |
The whole plan will cost Seattle tax-payers a paltry $150
million dollars over the next four years. We here at The Pattison Chronicle are
happy to finally see the government take action on the important issues, and
will gladly be contributing to the cause. What do you think of the new program?
Will you become one of the first Volcanic Psychologists? Tell us on Facebook and Twitter, and don’t forget to
subscribe!
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