Monday, September 14, 2015

Apple’s new HC Robot Fails Turing Test

Apple, think differently, but similar to us.
For many years scientists have been arguing over whether or not true artificial intelligence (AI) can be achieved. The ultimate way to determine whether or not someone has completed this task is through what is called a Turing Test. This test involves a human operator conversing with a machine, and if they cannot tell whether or not the machine is indeed artificial, then it passes. A shocking leak today has revealed that Apple was conducting one of these tests right under the eyes of the American public.  Apple CEO Tim Cook took the stage to address the leak earlier today.

“It’s with a heavy heart that I say we have not achieved the milestone we were hoping for. While we have created a very lifelike, thinking machine, we fell short of our lofty goals. In the end, it just wasn’t human.” Tim Cook then proceeded to sweep aside a black curtain, and revealed presidential candidate Hilary Clinton, or the AppleHC for short.

How did we miss it?
Clinton has been dropping steadily in the polls ever since her opponent Bernie Sanders announced his intention to run. Her campaign has been criticized as cold and even robotic, which now makes all the more sense. “While the Apple HC may have failed the Turing Test, we have found that it makes for a great political advisor, and will still be bringing it to market at the end of the year.”

Other tech companies have been quick to criticize Apple’s big reveal with Amazon’s Jeff Bezos calling it “nothing more than a C-ticket Disneyland attraction.” Apple has also announced that they will be releasing a scaled down Apple HC-C (Hilary Clinton Cheap) model, which will launch with less foreign policy integration, but still contain the basic features.

 What do you think of Apple’s big reveal? Were you also underwhelmed? Let us know in the comments below, Facebook, and Twitter.

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