Have you been noticing something different about your teen
as of late? Are they exhibiting mood swings, irrational behavior, and/or
changing in appearance? Some so called ‘experts’ might try and tell you that
this is a normal part of development, but the reality is far more dramatic.
Here at The Pattison Chronicle we employ a talented team of parenting
scientists (they don’t pay me, and I have no training), and they tell us that
all of these symptoms point to one of two issues: Hard Drugs or Alien
Abduction/Probing. We’ve created an easy to follow guide to help tell what’s
wrong with your teen, because there’s not a chance in hell that it’s normal
development.
I hope that this guide has helped you identify the problems
that your teen is facing. Rather than providing advice or helpful tips on how
to deal with these issues, we’ll leave you with this message: PANIC! Clearly,
your child is messed up, and no one else is having the same problems.
For more helpful tips, political guides, and general
nonsense, subscribe to The Pattison Chronicle. Follow us on
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thepattison
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